★HuRt★

Hurt
dun misunderstand~
is sore throat~
everything is coming suddenly~
coughing~flu~sore throat~
my voice is getting sexier~
OMG~
dis kind of sexy~
I dun wanna~!




SPM
become nearer and nearer
YOU
leave me further and further
it is good to me
at least I know that
YOU
won't come back again~
YOU
won't hurt me again~

Hei~
AS YOU know~
I am that kind of silly girl~
although I know you are bad egg
I still accept you
Because I am a good egg
I can give you happiness
As you cannot give me
I can share my wealth with you in my future
If you don't mind
I can lead you
And tell you what is good and bad
I can give you everything which  the others can give you
I can also give you everything which the others cannot give you in your life
Unfortunately~
YOU are not appreciate at all~!
So~
WELL
FINE
I will give them to other people who is know how to appreciate

Tear
is a obedient creature
It stays at the place that it should be
And hide itself properly
Won't come out without my premission~
Tear
My new lover~
Please be obedient ~okay?

Flu

Cough

Please become Ken okay?
leave me alone forever~





these 3 years
like a drama series
like a movie
like a dream
in actual
this is a joke

Now~
everything is go back to the past~
07/02/2006
I wished that this is true
Dun tell me this is just a dream~
I will hit your buttock twice~!

★Maze★

I afraid that kind of feeling
just like I got lost in the maze
dunno where is the exit
dunno where is the correct way
the person gave me that kind of feeling
is you
I can only stay at there
As I dunno where should I go
I lost the guider
You are my guider
In the past

I afraid that kind of feeling
when I realised that
A new beginning is start
A new day is coming
A new day without you
just like awake from the nightmare
sweating wetted my pajamas
I doubt that is tear or sweat
I scared that
the day without you anymore


How to explain the feeling I have?
sweet smile mixed with salty tears?
happy mixed with sadness?
Happy and sad came out together
the sad will cover the happy always
that day~
I awarded a lot of present
I was greeted with warm applause
but the next second
when you said we are friend
means that I lose you forever
What kind of feeling should I express?
So Happy fought with Sad
So Smile argued with Tears
Finally
Sad and Tears became winners
Appeared on my face
everyone stared at me
so embarrassing
Now only I know
5 October 2009
The heaven has driven a joke with me
Let me realised the feeling of happy mixed with sadness

I hate myself like that
Always rewind the past
Live in the past
I hate my blog filled with sadness atmosphere
BUT
what else can I do?

3 years
why look like 3 days
What kind of joke is this?
Suddenly become stranger
without any reasons
even though you have already another gurl~
I won't hate you
I'll blessed you
I am dis kind of kind gurl
You can call me silly gurl
but
I need answer
Although I know that is not important at all

Now
I awake from the dream
although I afraid that kind of feeling
I still have to accept~
that is funny~
I thought that I can't live without you
but I still alive
gotcha~
goodbye
stranger
I will come out from the maze in the future
I will have a betta life

★FroM thAt day OnWArds
    I didN't haVe thE cOUraGe
    tO caLl thE NuMber AnyMorE
    I jUsT Can TrAnSter My LOvE
    ThRouGh The AIr
    I wIll DisMiss YoU FroM mY MinD
    IN tHe FuTuRE★

★clear★

you
let me clear that
you dun lub me anymore~

you
let me clear that
you are really a bad egg

you
let me clear that
you are a good liar

you
let me clear that
you are capable of making a beautiful lie

you
let me clear that
you won't come back to me anymore

so
I won't love you anymore

so
I won't miss you anymore

so
I won't find you anymore

so
I won't let you hurt me anymore


you
and
me
is
over

★SiLLy★

silly
my another pronoun
my mum said
a gurl willing spent 200+ per month
and call that stupid man
is very silly action

so i'm silly gurl~
pls call me silly gurl~

change new number oledi~
4 number behind is 5320
if translate into mandarin is
I want to love you
understood~?
now~
dis silly gurl still want you dis bad egg~
but unfortunately~
you dun wanna me anymore~
so
conclusion~
who is more silly?

★Game Is Over★

everything is over
everything was going their original position
me too
I am single now
this is my original position

Since when you and me are going different direction?
I chased you from the behind when I realised that you were going far away
you stopped when you felt happy or in good mood
you kept walking when you felt unhappy or in bad mood
whatever you did, I still chased you and followed you
you felt very annoying when I kept following
but the problem is what is wrong when I kept following you?
I claim that I didn't do anything wrong
just because on that time you are mine
Is it look weird when boyfriend does not find the girlfriend
and the girlfriend also didn't find that boy?
What is the kind of relationship?
If you felt unhappy,you can just say...
the problem should be easier~
but you didn't
I admit that I am very stupid
Everything people must say with me,only I know~
If you didn't say,I will assume that everything is just nice~

Now~I say break-up with you
but you didn't reply
Is it no need to reply~?
that is my fault when I kept asking what is your advice!
but I need response~
Just give me response~
but you didn't~
Now~
to you~
I just your friend~
Xqs me~
I dun wanna be your friend k~?
become stranger is more easier~

Now~everything is over~
Game is over~

thx~

Now~I juz can stand at there~
staring after you~
till your figure disappear from my sight~
my tears wetted my blouse~
and form a heart-broken shape~
the atmosphere suddenly turned cold~
and froze my heart~
you get out from my life now~
won't come back anymore~
but you know~
I really hope that you will come back one day~
A new you~
but this is hopeless~
like a balloon in my hand~
I released it to the sky~
will it come back?
nonono~it will reach another place~
meet another person~

★I miss you★
Although I know I can't~

★BlAnK★

Baby,can you tell me what is going on?
Is it necessary to play hide and seek after we chat on phone?
I know I should trust you
I promise I will trust you
But can you do something that let me to trust?
I dun want to become a silly gurl
who knows you are cheating me but still believe you

That day,
I said I felt scared and thought you are playing this relationship
you said you were very angry
so you said break up
but after 1 and half hour
you didn't feel angry anymore as you love me
you said i should trust you
as we want to continue this relationship
if I feel scared
means that I did not trust you
I did not love you
I felt calm on that time
because I felt your love

I also know that trust is very important in a relationship
I should trust you
Really

Hide And Seek Game
make me dun know how to trust~
I know I am crazy+stupid+silly

I trust you
I dun believe you
as in between believe
there got a lie...

I dun want to become sticker anymore
I will let you find me first in this week~
After that if you didn't find me...
I will say goodbye,ok?
this is the best solution for us~
 

★A lump in my throat★

Suddenly~
I feel scared
I dare not to tell people that I am afraid now~
Sure that they will say I think too much~
In fact~I do not~I claim that~
I really feel afraid~
When he say sorry,I not feeling well,want to take a rest,find you tomorrow~
Suddenly~I felt that he was avoiding me~
maybe this is an excuse~who knows?
maybe is I think too much already~
but I don't know why I have this kind of feeling~
I know that I should believe him~I should trust him~
but I don't know why I can't do it~
maybe I always initiative to him~
so he no need to do anything coz he knows that
whatever he did,I will forgive him and stand by him~
I say by myself for many times already~
please stop your actions~
without reason~
please stop~
let him knows that
I can be independent~
I can live without him~
but you know~
It is weird~
did you see before~
this kind of relationship?
the girl scared of getting hurt~
so everytime she cannot find that guy
she want to give up~
coz she thinks that the guy cheat of her again~
the guy's action~
also very weird~

If you step on one step towards me~
I am willing towards you 999 step~
till reaching beside of you~
but are you willing come towards me for 1 step~?

★relax~Babe★

Just like awake from a dream...
Unbelieveable~
He called me~(of course I called him before!)
He sended msg to me~!
He said a lot of things~
So I think I believe him again~
I should give him a chance
to change himself
although a leopard wouldn't change its spots
he is not a leopard
But see~
He disappear again as I cannot find him yesterday~

I talk by myself
"Relax~!"give him some times...
as global warming is not change in one day~(a bit scientific)
He will find me...
but not now~~
Relax~

So now I am super relax~
didn't go to school this morning ~
online till now~
watch"Devil Beside You"~

I should be relax~

RELAX

★HiDe & SeEk★

Who is the person that creats 'Hide & seek' game?
Is it fun when let people cannot find you?

Not~!is not fun at all!
I hate this kind of game~!
I hate this kind of game in my relationship~!
What hell is he thinking!?!
I really dunno how to differentiate what is true and what is false
I really dunno whether I can believe you or not?!!
What is going on who can tell me?!

He has a huge refrigerator
I am the thing that he keep inside the fringe~
Everybody knew that it was expired...
Only he said that it is fresh and still keep me inside the fringe
and then would not open it again...
I was closed in the fringe...nobody can help me~

★please~dun play hide and seek again★
★please~let me go,ok?★

my mum says I have a lot of times that why I layan you
so she applies many courses for me~

Let me forget you~

★forget and remember★

when i was young(now still very young la~~~)
I mean when i was a little girl...
I cannot eat ice cream(because I have asthma)
but every time,the ice-cream motorbike(got music one~~~~)
came over my house
I would say to my mum:"mi~~I want to eat ice cream~"
and my mum would say:"cannot!!!!"
now I know that it is for my own good
I had to stay in hospital after I ate the ice cream
but a 4 year-old little girl wouldn't know these things
so when mummy refused to buy ice-cream to me
I would make face to her and cried
(also didn't get the ice-cream finally~hehehe)

However,sometimes mummy would buy ice cream to me
At that time I was over the moon as I got that thing
which is cannot get easily
I was very contented
At the same time,I hope that the ice cream wouldn't melt easily
I hope that it wouldn't melt forever
so I could have it all the time
Unfortunately,
it won't happen in this world unless you are live in South Pole
(Stupid~!the ice at south pole started melting already la~!)
Finally,I finished the ice cream and was been sent into hospital
when I had a relapse
very uncomfortable
have to eat a lot of medicine and to have injections
that is the effect after eating  ice cream
After that mummy would say:"Next time cannot eat already...so you no need to stay at hospital and wouldn't feel uncomfortable.ok?
like a circle
happen for many times during my childhood

Now,the little girl has grown up,
but she still face to these kind of things
this time,is not an ice cream
is a man,called Ken
Nowadays,I find him all the time
Sometimes,maybe I am fortunate
so I found him
we chatted and at that time I felt contented
and I hope that we chatted all the time
the happy time cannot pass though quickly and easily
I hope that he will find me and let me know that he love me actually
just express his love in different way
Unfortunately,after that,I would be hurt by him
his weird actions let me become crazy nearly
as he will missing after chatting
at past,at most a whole day
now,five days
without any reasons
that kind of feeling I only felt it before this when I cannot get ice cream
but this effect is much bigger than asthma
which is heart broken,heart pain,like heart attack
the pain is unbearable
super painful
the heart is bleeding
the tears are rolling
the mind is messy
the doll is wet
my mummy now will said:"don't find him anymore,don't think of him anymore,you will feel better...and you will forget him after a period of time~"

Ken~please let me go if you didn't love me anymore
I repeat it for many times already
please,I am begging you
I don't care whether this action is childish
I don't care whether this action is silly
I just want you

let me go

I won't find you anymore
and you can turn off your phone forever
even though you will switch on
please don't send message to me
or give me a call
I know myself
I am soft-hearted girl
I will forget you every time
although you hurt me 100 times
so,please~let me go

your tears had cheated of me

clever tears...